I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
