Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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