So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am available for nakedness
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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