Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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