Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
