24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
