Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All the doctor said was why
Randomize