Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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