I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
