She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
