I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
