we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize