there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize