He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
