It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
