so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
