you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i've created a new STD.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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