Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
