Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
