Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
