help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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