yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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