Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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