Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
