Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
