Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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