I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
