you guys were way drunker than both of me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
