Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We need a shit load of segways right now
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
