Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
false alarm, still single
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
