Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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