is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
