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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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