Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
