I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
