so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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