Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
