this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
