if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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