I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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