i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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