This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
