Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
