Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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