Where is the hickey?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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