i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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