There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize