I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize