Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
