worst night to have a conscience
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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