who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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