Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
