yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
