haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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