The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
