were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
