I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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