I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
