I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
