did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
