I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
