Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
