paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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