You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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