Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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