my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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