The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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