OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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