I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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